Do white girls make better girlfriends?

The funny thing is that I get asked this from a wide range of people: homies, white girls, seemingly insecure black girls, and of course some downright ignorant “heffaz”. In the back of my mind I laugh at the idea that I’m being asked this question every single time it’s brought up. Not because I take joy in seeing the goofy, uneasy, quizzical, “innocent child watching porn for the first time” look on their faces that usually accompanies the question; but because I know that deep down inside, everybody has an answer that they want to hear. So why even bring it up; to genuinely get an opinion, or to put a homie on the spot? Here are my thoughts…

Try it out for yourself!

You know, that’s the simplest way to figure it out. I for one am I big supporter of interracial unions and would even go as far as saying you should at least have one in your lifetime… or at least have “relations” with someone outside of your race. In any case, I know a lot of you would rather be lazy and read about it in some guy’s blog so here we go; the politically incorrect version..

I’m going to keep it simple and break it down by the categories guys REALLY consider when it comes to dating a chick. Let me now take the time to say that I’m basing all of this off the females that I PERSONALLY know and not any celebrities, video hoes, chicks you hear about/see on TV, any published articles, crackheads with a bible in the subway, or any other avenue people get opinions from and take them on as their own. So before you go down to the comments and try to start putting me on blast talking smack like, “I know this one chick who blah blah blah” or “I don’t blah blah”, remember this: “Phuq what you heard and who you know!” Somehow, despite saying that, I know I’m going to have to deal with that anyways *sighs*.

Looks

I’m going to keep it REAL and say right off the bat that no fat chicks were taken into consideration for the “looks” category. Not that I’m hatin’ on them or anything, but because they add too many unneeded variables to an already complicated matter that I’m trying to keep simple. Fat chicks are always hit and miss when it comes to looks. I mean you have some fat chicks that look good with their weight like Toccara Elaine Jones and at the same time you have some that look like “Precious” (ha ha ha, keep it REAL people).

Who’s prettier?
This isn’t even up for debate; white girls generally have prettier faces. I don’t know why some people would even try to put this up for discussion and then try to back it up with CHICKS YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW! Fact of the matter is, I know if I went to my original Facebook profile’s friend list and picked out 50 white girls and 50 black girls at RANDOM and stacked them randomly against each other, in a lot of cases my white female friend’s pic could look at the black one and go, “Do you really leave the house every day looking like that and let people see you?”

"Go team!"

That’s just REAL talk; I ‘aint goin’ lie (50 Tyson voice). What’s funny is that I know some ignorant heffaz are currently going on my FB profile to creep my friends with hopes of proving me wrong, and are going to end up being disappointed. Then they’re going to start hating and go on the usual rant about how “white girls are “fake” because they wear piles of makeup, get cosmetic surgery, tan etc.” The even funnier part is that while saying all of that, they themselves may be a “lace front shawty” who can’t get the makeup on their face to match the skin tone of their neck, with nails made in Korea, and irises in colors that should be nowhere near black people with their pupils dilated like they are forever sitting in a dark room. Should I continue? …didn’t think so…

Now I’m not knocking on my Nubian princesses because I have some as friends that are just insta-boner, drop dead gorgeous. If we’re REAL with ourselves, we know that for every one of those, we have three more that every time we go out and see them coming over to say “Hi”, in our minds we go, “…this bitch…”*sighs and rolls eyes* (note: I’m excluding the “average” looking hunnies from that statement). I’m just saying that the ratio for that happening is lower with my white female friends.

…maybe it means I need top step my game up when it comes to the black chicks I know…

Who has a better body?

"Keep your eyes up here mister!"

Black girls get the nod here without having to think about trying. It’s a fact that 80% of all black girls are built like a stack of bricks… SOLID!!! Hips and thighs that DEMAND attention from all angles, a butt that makes jeans beg for mercy, tits that… well really that’s “hit and miss”. Turns out slavery wasn’t such a bad thing for black people with all the breeding of big slaves with even bigger slaves to make super slaves (yeah, I went there). “We have the white man to thank for that!” –Uncle Ruckus, the Boondocks. *laughs to self*

Sometimes you really just have to step back and be like, “Damn ma, all this right here is you; for real?” Like it’s so bad that (going back to my FB friend’s list again) a black girl on average could be looking like Flava Flav and STILL be picking up dudes at the club, while if you put a white girl in the same situation… she’s phuq-ed (unless it’s celebrity impersonation night).

All that said I do have some white female friends that you’d swear their father’s should have paternity tests done to make sure mom wasn’t “sleeping with the milk man”. Those instances are far fewer than at the other end of the spectrum though.

…maybe it means I need top step my game up when it comes to the white chicks I know…

Personality

Now for the part that should really matter the most. I could go on and on forever about different areas of personality, but I’ll try and spare you guys. What I’ll do is pick the two areas that matter the most to me with regards to a female’s personality and if I’d pursue dating her. This portion I have no problem with being called out on because I know I’ll be skipping over a few things, but like I said it’s personal opinion. Every guy puts weight on different things and I’m skipping the regular stuff like having similar likes and interests, personal habits, compatibility, etc..

Downright being able to put up with them and the handling of relationship problems
Black girls don’t know how to act… PERIOD! They get loud/rude/disrespectful/in your face, are quicker to jump to conclusions, and would listen and believe anyone else BUT you. Let’s be REAL and think about it for a second; isn’t it true (in a lot of cases)? I think white females have a higher threshold for tolerance and are more willing to stand by their man. Let me give you a personal example:

I went to this club once with some friends while I was in college; we got there, we danced, we left, that’s it. The following Monday, unknown to me this picture surfaced on FB:

Looks pretty bad doesn't it?

Word about it spread like wildfire throughout the college and surrounding community (drawback of being the token black guy). Now I didn’t find out about it until the Wednesday when a friend came up to me asked who that chick was I was making out with last Saturday and showed it to me. I almost died when I saw it. If I didn’t drink alcohol, I’d have thought I got drunk and made out with some chick. The next thing I thought was that my girlfriend was going to KILL me if she saw that. So I asked my friend whose album it came from and how many people know about it to which she answered that pretty much everyone knew about it since it was on the club’s FB group… FML!!!

In case you were wondering; no I was not kissing her; in fact it was a good friend of mine who had a boyfriend. I was merely leaning over to tell her something and because of the angle and the moment the photographer took the picture, it looked like we were kissing. *sighs* I know it’s hard to believe and know some of you are laughing about how “caught” I was and I’m a liar, but I swear on my d!(k it’s the truth.

Anyways, skip forward a day or two spent $h!tt!ng bricks, my girlfriend comes over and I didn’t know what to do. I loved her and everything, but my “inner me” was telling me that maybe she hasn’t heard about it yet, probably won’t, and if there isn’t a problem then don’t cause one. I could live with that. Soon after settling in with that plan of action, she says my name in the usually sweet way she does that in and then followed it with, “we need to talk about something that’s been bugging me for the last few days.”

“FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!!” were the only set of words going through my mind for the next couple of seconds. I tried to play it cool and asked her what was up. Still in her sweet voice she said, “Well you see, I heard this silly rumor going around that you were making out with some girl at the Opera House last week and we both know how bad this place is with rumors, but then I saw this pic posted on their Facebook group and I really didn’t know what to think. Like I wanted to cry about it and everything but I just needed to hear what you had to say.”

Take a second to digest that guys.

I definitely had to take a couple of seconds to do that. Here she was with proof so hardcore that you could take to court and get a divorce and half my stuff, and all of her friends and whoever else telling her that I was cheating on her, and she somehow managed to brush that all aside and give me –her seemingly cheating boyfriend – the benefit of the doubt.

Story ends with me explaining what  had happened and I think I even called up my friend to get her in on the explanation as well, then us eventually laughing about it and me telling her how much I loved her like a million times every two seconds after that. From how she handled that situation was reason enough for me to say she was the best girlfriend I’ve EVER had. I still to this day regret us having to break up. *sniffle*

"DAMN!!! I shoulda married a white chick..."

Now let’s put a typical black girl in that situation, what do you think would have happened? I’ll tell you: a Tyler Perry movie! I know I’ve had a girlfriend who only just needed to hear that someone looking like me was talking across the street to some girl and she would have came at my throat with a knife (not literally, ha ha). We probably know a black female like that (be REAL guys) and they are usually the ones who would get up in your face and push the matter, and they just don’t know when to stop (Rihanna). Now I’m not saying that what he did was right; but I understand.

Confidence
To me, the sexiest thing about a female’s personality is her confidence. There’s nothing like walking into a room with your girl and her giving off the vibe of “I’m the hottest, smartest, most sort after person in this room and you better recognize that”, without even having to say a word. It’s probably one of the biggest ego subtle boosters for a guy. I think that black females are usually born brimming with confidence but that’s not to say that white females aren’t too. I just think they would require a tad more assurance about things like their looks and care more about what people think about them. Some guys are comfortable with doing that while others would say she’s needier than the Salvation Army at Christmas time after being robbed.

Confidence in a female is a double edged sword. Too much of it and you have a hoodrat; too little and you have a kitten chasing behind your coattails. Pick your poison.

Sex

Now this is where trouble is going to start. This is so purely opinion based that it doesn’t even make sense that I even dwell on it. I will say this though:
If you’re in the mood to just lay there and have a chick ride you or smack some @$$ around, your best bet is with a black girl and her usually fluid moving waistline and bootie. If you want a more spontaneous chick that’s more willing to try new things, get a white girl. They’re the reason I have Marilyn Manson on my iPod and I see things like candle wax, handcuffs, and strawberry lube in a different light… don’t ask. Some of you will never look at me in that “innocent” light again.

A little milk in your coffee.

Pretty cool don't you think?

Why do black men, especially professionals gravitate to white women? Just to clear that up once and for all; they don’t. It only seems that way because most of you and the avenues your get your information from choose to single out the few instances where it happens. So what if it does? Does it really make him any lesser of a man? Is he a “traitor” for no longer wanting to be with one of those “basic b!t(he$” he’s been messing with all his life and trying something new?

Do I think white girls make better girlfriends? YES!!! …and no… We need to not allow someone’s race to determine how we feel about them and their ability to function as a worthy partner in a relationship. Race is still being allowed to be the main focus on everything nowadays regardless as to if we want to admit it or not. I’ll say this though: my penis a humanitarian with a mission, so I’ll allow you guys to worry about petty things like a person’s race when it comes to relationships. If I have my way, within the next 20 years, I’ll be the first person in any of your Facebook feeds showing up listed as being “in a relationship with ‘that Blue Bitch from Space’”!