In a lot of cultures, there are a set set of questions that are usually taboo to ask a female. The reason for this is that within every female, no matter how confident and self assured she portrays herself, there is a little girl with esteem issues that comes out when asked the wrong question at the wrong time. Don’t believe me? Guys, walk up to a random female over 35 you don’t know and ask her how old she is. Next time you and the boys are at a party, call a fat chick over and ask her how much she weighs. Heck, even the most trifling of trifling heffas may get her panties up in a bunch if you ask her out of the blue if her hair is real (LOVE doing this one myself). Gals, put yourself in the shoes of the female in each situation and think about how you would feel.
The thing about asking a question that sparks insecurity is that more often than not, the person answering is more consumed with wanting to give you an answer you want to hear rather than the actual truth. Guys, look at it as when a chick would asks you how big your d!(k is and you’d tell her seven inches and you know you you’re barely trickling past four… WITH foreskin. This is why I believe that when you ask someone certain questions, it’s ok for them to lie to you because it’s none of your damn business.
Females tend to get away with what they can ask a guy because most of us don’t “carry feelings” like that or are comfortable with lying from time to time. The same can’t be said the other way around (well, except for the “lying” part ). However, there is one question I think both genders, ESPECIALLY THE GUYS, need to stop asking one another:
“How many people have you had sex with?”
Didn’t see that one coming huh? As far as “none of your damn business” goes, this to me is the mother of all questions. I don’t even know who even started asking this question or what they hoped to get out of receiving an answer. I speculate that it started with teenagers who were unsure about their own sex game and needed to seek out someone just as inexperienced as them so that the other person is less likely to realize how much they suck. How did it get into the realm of grown adults asking it though?
Chicks ask me this question all the time and I’ve never given them an exact number. Not because I have something to hide, but because I stopped counting after five. I remember late one night back in college a homegirl called me up sobbing saying she wanted to talk. I was playing COD4 and would have told her to screw off but she was one of those chicks I REALLY wanted to bang so it became an opportunity to score some “points” with her.
We sat in her car outside my place for a few hours and she was telling me about her troubles with her boyfriend back home (music to my ears) and how people were telling him that she’s “slutting it up” in school (JACKPOT). Apparently this dude started questioning her about EVERYTHING and even went as far as saying he doesn’t want someone he can’t trust as a girlfriend. When she said that she broke down crying and told me, “I can’t believe he said that and he’s the only I’ve ever slept with. I’m nowhere near to being a slut. I’ve only ever kissed three guys in my entire life and they were all my boyfriends!”
Sad to say, anything else she said to me that night automatically went in one ear and out the other. The only thing going through my mind was, “Who the hell keeps track of a statistic like that? Matter of fact, how are you 20, so frigging attractive, been dating this guy for less than a few months, and have ONLY kissed four guys in your entire life?” The reason that was so alarming to me was because I knew that on any given day, I couldn’t tell you the number of chicks I’ve slept with much less the number of chicks I’ve made out with within the last two years. Whenever I say this to a chick who has asked “the question” they all instantaneously come to the one conclusion of, “Damn, you’re a slut!”
I resent that because it’s not like I’ve been sleeping around on the few chicks I’ve actually dated. In true “man law” fashion I just shrug that off like it’s nothing. I mean a couple chicks here and there thinking I’m a slut isn’t going to change anything right? It certainly hasn’t so far. All the chicks in the world could know a guy is the biggest slut of life and they’d still throw the cooch at him in hopes of him “wife-ing” them. However, chicks really get the crappy end of the stick when it comes to this because if word gets out that she’s a “slut”, the only guys trying to holla at her will be the ones going through “droughts” or looking to score a gang bang with some homies. Which leads me to the question I’ve always asked:
How much is “too many” in order to be a slut?
If there is a set number or range to answer this question, I’d like to know (I’m talking to the guys here more so than the chicks). Some chicks I know are “just sluts” plain and simple. I have two personal but somewhat biased definitions of a slut:
- A female who has a tendency to be committed to someone but still sleep with another person. If it’s with me or with a hott chick then she’s not a slut; she’s just “exploring other options” -REAL
- A female who has sex with numerous persons WITHOUT (most important part here) making sure they wear condoms.
However, some guys label a slut as being a chick who has had sex with four or more guys. Now it’s OK to have that type of mentality if you’re both 16, but when you’re in your 20’s? ARE YOU FRIGGING KIDDING ME??!!
I had a conversation about this with some dudes outside a club.
I was out front trying to return a call to someone who called me when I was inside. When I was looking to head back in, I bumped into these three dudes. One of them informed me that there were these two chicks who were eye phuq-ing me on the dance floor. He called their names and the third dude who wasn’t really a part of the conversation suddenly came to life because he recognized one of them. He then informed us that she was a major slut and that these two dudes who lived in his building used to bang her. At that moment, we all lost respect for her and she moved from being a hottie to a “club rat”. Then common sense kicked in.
I turned to him and asked if he ever tried to get with her before, and he confirmed that he has numerous times but never got anywhere. I then asked if these two dudes were banging her the same time. He revealed they were not and that one of them was actually her boyfriend at the time and the other was this dude she was on and off with in high school. The other two dudes now were starting to realize how easily they were misled. The guy then told me that those were only the two guys he knew of that she slept what and that God alone probably knows how many others there may have been.
I asked the three of them, “How many is ‘too many’?” and the answers I got were between five and seven. They asked me for my “cutoff number” and I said, “Really, she could have told me 20 and I wouldn’t care. As long as she can assure me that they all wore condoms and she’s never caught “anything” before, that’s fine with me. In fact, I’d probably like her more for the fact that she can be that REAL with me.” They all looked at me like I was snorting rocks. I realized that they still had the mentality of an adolescent as a lot of dudes unfortunately do when it comes to this topic. So it was now up to me to educate them on how easy it was for even the most “innocent” female my age (24) to have slept with seven guys. I gave them something similar to this scenario:
Let’s say she had her first boyfriend for two years at age 15. They started having sex at 16 (1) before they broke up when she was 17 because he found bigger titties to lick. She then spends a few months resenting men and making out with chicks at parties before she meets her next boyfriend. They date and have sex (2) but break up when they go off to different colleges at 18. At orientation she meets this new guy and they take it slow for a few months and after a while, she’s 19 with a boyfriend she’s having sex with (3). In second year at 20, the boyfriend decides that college and relationships don’t go together and she walks in on him with another chick and they break up. She spends the rest of second year totally focused on school and not guys. In third year at 21, after a hectic exam week, her friends an her go to this party and she get totally wasted and some guy ends up getting the skins in a bathroom (4).
She vows to never drink again and gives up on that and entering her final year at 22, she meets this guy she went to high school with who just transferred. They date and have sex (5), and after graduating they move into an apartment downtown together. A year later at 23, things grow stale and he moves out. Their mutual friend who lives a floor or two down is still around and she kicks it with him now because she never really socialized much outside of her having her boyfriend (we all know “sprung” chicks like this). One night when the moon was full and yadda yadda yadda, he used the right line and they looked into each others’ eyes for a split second too long and end up having sex (6).
Afterwards, she tells him she feels bad about having sex with someone she’s not dating and how it’s going to mess up the friendship (you know how chicks get) so he stops wasting his erections on her and cuts her off (YEEAAAHHHH BOOOIII). Skip a few months and she rings in her 24th birthday lonelier than an aborted fetus in a dumpster. Her girls at work eventually get her into checking out the local club scene with them and she likes it. Two months in, she’s just swept off her feet by this guy who’s everything she THINKS is everything she wanted (chicks don’t ever know what they REALLY want) in a guy. She got caught up in the hype and it turns out he was just in it to be in “it”. Two to three months later when he finally did (7), he bounced because backing up the lie of owning a supermarket chain is expensive.
They sort of started to see things my way but I could tell that the notion of “no more than 5-7” was embedded too deeply in their persona for it to be changed by some random dude outside a club.
Quit messing up the game
Chicks know about the “5-7” rule that a lot guys have and it’s because of this knowledge the “the game” is being messed up in a few ways. The first and foremost is that they are now more enticed to lie about how many guys they have slept with so as not to fall into your “slut” bracket. I mean, if a lot of the girls you know are REAL with you, that magic number of “three” could probably be multiplied by itself to find out how many guys she really has slept with… in the last five years…
Look at the scenario of the “innocent” give I gave above. Imagine her now as a girl you like/are currently having sex with and you know she likes sex and is sexually active. Factor in the fact that her last “serious” boyfriend was about a year or two ago and she’s the type of girl who is extroverted, likes partying and clubbing, and socializing and having a good time. It paves the way to more realistically seeing how many guys she potentially could have had sex with (especially if you’re in a big city or she travels often); as well as starting to show how idiotic the “5-7” rule is logically. Now with all of that taken into consideration, do you think she’s a slut by your definition? If you do now and you didn’t before then you likely have a lot of growing up to do.
Think about how much you like sex and the fact that if you had the power to make any chick you saw want to have sex with you, you would probably be banging a different chick every day. Chicks somewhat (because I don’t believe in letting poon have control over me) have that power when it comes to a lot of guys. If anything we should be commending them for ONLY having sex with 10 or less guys in their years of being sexually active. God knows why he didn’t give me, or too many hott chicks with my mentality a cooch. If it came to that, I’d be swimming in dough and the only work I’d be doing would be on my back! (or whatever other positions are required to get that paper) -REAL
HA HA HA!!! More seriously though, if you do came to find out that a chick is lying about her “number”, we shouldn’t be quick to jump down her throat because it is our own fault she had to stoop to lying in the first place. You know, the question that we really SHOULD be asking chicks is, “You not a virgin right?”
Ponder about that for a second. Remember every single girl you’ve whipped out your tube steak to and didn’t know what to do with it? She couldn’t ride it good, ran from it, yanked it like it wasn’t attached to you, put both your balls in her mouth and tried closing it not knowing it wasn’t the thing to do, etc. in every situation like that, you wished she had a little more “slut” in her huh? Where do you think she’s going to get that extra “slut” experience? FROM PHUQ-ING OTHER GUYS!!!
If I had to ask a chick for her “number” on anything it’ll be the amount of times she’s had sex and I ideally wouldn’t want it to be less than 25 (10 in the absolute cutoff point though). This idea of pressuring a chick to have the lowest “number” possible only leads to one thing: more virgins. Riddle me this though: what’s more synonymous with “virgins” than “bad sex”? NOTHING! Besides, this idea also leads to that “post hymen busting” mentality in chicks where they become overly clingy and are on your d!(k about everything. If we’re all REAL, we know no guy likes that “second shadow” girlfriend, so why are we nurturing the environment for that type of behavior to thrive in? C’MON SON!!!
Every guy wants a girlfriend who can be a slut; but not a girlfriend who is a slut. –REAL
The pressure that we have placed on chicks when it comes to this subject is crazy. We’re telling them to be sexy but not have sex. This is probably one of the very few cases where I can agree with a female when she says that guys are complicated. If you’re reading this and feeling me on it (no homo), then help me spread the “good word” and clear the dark fog that has enshrouded our woman folk and their sex lives. Really guys, at the end of the day, if this continues we’ll be cast back into an era of “no sex before marriage” and that’s not the world I want my future son to grow up in. ESPECIALLY when he has to pay 20 bucks to get in on ladies night, deal with a 1:5 guy to chick ratio, and survive an onslaught of glares from heffas seeking promise rings when “Single Ladies” comes on. DO IT FOR THE KIDS!!!
P.S.: If you’re a guy reading this and you’ve asked “the question” before or still actively do, drop me a line in the comments and let me know why so I can maybe better understand. I’d really hate to think that there are so many punk b1t(he$ out there giving chicks heat over nothing.